The problem with dating books

I’m embarrassed to say how many dating books I’ve read. But it’s not my fault. I have had many of them foisted on me over the years by my sisters or my female friends. And I had to read a whole slew of them when I was researching my book, Decoding Love. After doing that, I have to come to one simple conclusion, there’s no there there. The vast majority of books are basically a series of anecdotes strung together.

Let’s take a huge hit from a few years ago, He’s Just Not That Into You. As Sex and the City fans know, this book emerged from Miranda’s sudden relationship epiphany that all of male relationship misbehavior can be explained with one simple statement: He’s just not that into you. And the book goes on to illustrate the point in endless ways. It’s the first book I have ever read that you really could judge not just by its cover but by its title alone.

I can see the appeal of the book. It’s funny and entertaining. As relationship advice, though, it is, to say the least, a little thin. If I could pose one simple question, why is he just not that into you? I don’t think that is too much to ask. I’m not looking for heavy number crunching and statistical modeling. But I think it’s not unreasonable to offer something to readers beyond a one-sentence thesis.

And there is a fairly straightforward explanation. Men make sperm, and women make eggs. My previous post explains the significance of this, so I won’t go into the details again. But I do think the reader deserves more than a one-sentence catchphrase when trying to understand something as complicated as relationships.